Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Cathy's Story from Georgia

My name is Cathy. I am the wife to a very loving husband and a mother to a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son. In May of 2006 I went in for my very first mammogram and was diagnosed with breast cancer in my left breast.

After further testing, they learned I also had cancer in my right breast. I was 42 at the time and had just lost my mom to lung cancer 11 months earlier. I was scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction surgery. Never have I experienced so much pain. I was cut from hip to hip and my breasts were totally removed and replaced with tissue from my stomach. I couldn't do anything for myself. I couldn't even lie down, so I spent weeks sleeping in a recliner.

Aside from the physical effects of my surgery, I suffered the emotional and psychological effects of having my breast removed. Days after my surgery I would learn that I had positive lymph nodes removed from under my arms so I would now have to go through eight treatments of chemotherapy. I would have a treatment every other week. My left breast was infected and would not heal. I went in to the hospital again to have it cleaned out and have a port for my chemo.

Chemo was a very scary ordeal for my entire family and me. I recall my daughter and son being so scared for me, not really understanding cancer only associating it with death because of their grandmother. One day after a chemo treatment, I remember my children asking me, "Mom, are you going to die?” Of course my response was no. I told them this illness may get me down, but it won't keep me down. Deep down I was more scared than anyone could ever imagine. I prayed every minute for God to let me live to see my kids grow up. I was determined to beat this for the sake of my family. Chemo kept me down for 3-4 days at a time. I would start to feel better and it would be time for another treatment.

Still not healing from my infection, especially when my good cells and bad cells were destroyed by chemo, I was sent for hyperbaric medicine. I also had a wound vac attached to my breast 24/7 for several weeks. I recall one evening in January, I started feeling really bad and running a temperature. Within no time I was deathly ill. My husband rushed me to the hospital and there I stayed for a week getting antibiotics. The doctor told my husband if we had of waited any longer I may not have made it because the infection had got in my blood. I finally healed from the infection after time in the hospital and staying on antibiotics month after month.

My left breast looks totally disfigured compared to my right. My plastic surgeon promises me it will be better. I just had an implant put in and I will probably have two more surgeries to go. Although it would be nice to have normal looking breast, I’m very grateful to still be here to enjoy my family. I am currently in remission, I’ve finished chemo and I actually have hair again. Our lives have changed so much during this difficult time. It has almost got us down, I must admit, more than once. We all learned to do without and appreciate life more.

During my chemo, my daughter and son didn't even remind us of basketball sign-ups because they were afraid I would be too sick to go to or too sick to be left alone if their dad had to take them. Currently our finances have hit bottom since I have been out of work for 8-9 months total and only have been paid if my co-workers donated me vacation days. My husband lost his job after days and days of missing work to take care of me. We are losing our home and my husband’s truck engine is about to blow at any time. My SUV needs work done to it that I can't afford to do. My biggest concern is not knowing where we are going to live. We probably only have about 3-4 weeks, if that. I try not to worry about all the material things because after all I've been through, am so thankful to have my life. My sadness is for my kids because they don't understand why we have to move. My kids are great, and have been through so much. My husband took such good care of me when I couldn't do for myself. I hope to continue to do well so I can give back to them the love and commitment they have given me for over a year. May God bless them.

A note from Cathy's neighbor-

I am so glad to have a chance to tell you about my neighbor. Her name is Cathy, and she is married to Chris. They have two children, Emily, and Noah.

A few years ago, Cathy was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is still in the process of reconstructive surgery after a mammogram and I don't know if this word is used any more, but the cancer is in remission. She does have a family history of cancer. Her mother died of lung cancer in the past few years.

I would like to tell you about Cathy, but may I please say first that her biggest challenge at the moment is a problem with her home that is making it very unhealthy for her. Cathy has worked for the U.S. Postal service for 22 years, and she works the early shift going in at 3:30 a.m. Her husband is a delivery driver. Luckily her medical insurance has covered her medical bills and the two have no outstanding credit other than their homes and cars, but payments for these and basic utilities are behind and they are trying to keep up with payment plans. After several surgeries, Cathy is out of time off at work, and she has had to rely on her husband to stay home with her after surgery. So, there is not any paid time off available. I know she has returned to work before she should after surgery and chemo.

Not long before her diagnosis, she and Chris learned that there were leaks in the polybuteline piping that runs beneath and throughout the home. Each time the family uses water for showers, washing dishes, laundry, etc. there are leaks seeping into the home's concrete slab. One bathroom and shower in the home cannot be used at all because of flooding that has eroded the foundation so the tub, for example, bows. There is mold that Chris has worked to remove. The bottom line is the house is increasingly unhealthy, and there is no money to repair it (Any 4 01Ks or retirement funds have been depleted to keep the basics). A plumber has estimated any work at $6,000. The family has outgrown the home, too.

Just before cancer and water leaks, the Huffs had refinanced their home and had begun to build out their garage to give the kids more space. This is another project that is not finished. What gets me about my neighbors is that they do not complain. We have lived across the street from one another for 10 years, and other than noticing that physically their home needed a little TLC, I had no idea what was happening.

I am so thankful I heard about it from another neighbor because it taught me a lesson: I had been a crummy neighbor, so stuck in the routine of waving at them coming and going. And, it reminded me that we don't always know what is going on in the life of another person, whether we pass them in traffic or live across the street. My husband and I are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel after almost destroying ourselves financially. And, it was not because of any life-threatening diseases. It was just making bad choices.

The Huffs, Cathy in particular because I know her, have made the right choices. She is worried about her family, her kids, her home, the future. Cathy has had some help from family, friends, church, but after a while that gets scant and even with a solid work history it is hard to get extra money from banks, for example. Stress is the last thing she needs, but it has to be a big part of a life that needs healing.

A word about her kids: The Huff children are two of the best kids I know. For siblings their age they are so funny - they play together, are supportive of one another, and are quick to talk about their mother's illness. Occasionally they have their spats, but kids so close in age don't normally play ball together, ride bikes and scooters together. The kids are athletic and play ball. I suspect they have missed some play time with all that's happening. They are very quick to come over and play with my two year old. I think most kids this age are focused on video games and the latest cool clothes and gadgets. I am sure they'd like these things, but they care about their parents. They are just great.

So, I truly hope you will consider my friend Cathy as you make decisions about women you will support. I promise to do my part, too. I am always looking for ways to help out knowing she keeps her needs to herself. Thank you again for the chance to share, and God Bless You for reaching out to women with breast cancer.

A note from Cathy's family-

This is a story of a lady we love dearly. She is our mom, and a wife to our dad. Her name is Cathy. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 06. Since, she has gone through a bi-lateral mast., chemo for 16 weeks, eight surgeries, losing her hair and nights and nights of being in pain.

Our mom has always worked and when she was sick she was not able to and our dad had to stay home to take care of her. I know they couldn't pay some bills and now we have to move. There is a country song on the radio by Craig Morgan called "tough" that is so much like our mom.

We wish we could give back to our mom because she never stopped taking care of us even though she was as sick as she was. If you could think of our mom and a wife to our dad we would be so thankful. My mom goes to work now sometimes she can hardly walk because the chemo has caused nerve damage in her feet. She never stops for her self it is always for us. We hope we can give back to her one day.

God bless,
Chris, Emily and Noah

Canton, Georgia

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Dear Cathy,
We have talked a lot about your experience over the past few months, but to see it all pulled together in black and white is breath taking because I didn't grasp how quickly it had all occurred. You lost your mom, then you were diagnosed and I know your mother-in-law is also fighting cancer. I have learned very quickly that you keep it all inside and make it positive on the outside. All of this pressure, and you are walking through it like a champion. My hat is off to you. I am truly thankful that you are in what I hope is the final reconstructive stages of your illness, but I am sad that it may mean we won't' see you and your family across the street. We have been neighbors for 10 years, and I am so sorry I was not more involved in your lives sooner as I have had many fun times and important life lessons at our picnic table, watching the kids splash around in the inflatable pool (who knew those would be such a hit!). Brady adores your kids. Emily is so smart and considerate, and Noah is destined for many entertaining adventures. My prayers is that you will continue to heal physicially and find that place that will give you comfort so you can being to heal in your heart. I do not want to lose touch with you. You are one great lady. God bless you,
Jennifer Paire