Ginger's Entry :Johnson's Don't Quit

A while ago I read a great book called The Parenting Breakthrough by Merilee Boyack. It's probably the best book I've ever read on how to raise a child to be an independent, upstanding adult and how to teach valuable life lessons like investing and saving for the future. In one section, the author explains how in their family they have several motto's in place so that when a situation arises were a lecture would normally be given, they just say the motto and the kids get the point. I really liked that idea, because all you parents out there know how fun it is to lecture time and time again about the same things. :) The motto I chose for our family was: Johnson's Don't Quit. And believe you me, it comes in handy ALL the time. From yard work, to home work, to everything in between! I use it often and sometimes my kids use it on me.

We started using this motto way before the breast cancer hit, but during treatments it was something I could live by and teach my kids about. No matter what - Johnson's don't quit. I said it to myself many times when it was hard to take the chemo medicine. I said it to myself when I had to get up and be a mom, even though I didn't feel like it. I had to - I couldn't quit. My kids needed me; my new born baby needed me; my husband needed me. I had to be strong.

I ended my chemo treatments in Nov. '07 and the following May (so 7 months later) I decided that it was time to get back into life and the things I enjoyed physically. Travis and I had always wanted to hike The Narrows in Zion National Park and it seemed like the perfect thing to do at the time to celebrate my victory over breast cancer. Little did I know how long it takes a person's body to recover from the effects of chemo combined with pregnancy. I soon learned. Seven months wasn't nearly enough time for what I was about to do and I learned that the hard way.

We called our friend Andy who had hiked the Narrows before and he gladly agreed to be our guide. We only had one day to complete the hike and I was overly confident that I could handle it. We drove down to St. George on Friday night and had the worst night sleep EVER. I don't know if it was the anticipation or the uncomfortable beds, but I think I got about 2 hours of sleep that night. The next morning we were supposed to catch the 6:30 am shuttle to take us to the top of the trail that is outside the park. We missed the shuttle because of permit issues and had to reschedule for the 11:00 shuttle. Due to the delay we didn't start the hike until after noon on Saturday. I didn't think anything of it. No big deal - we'd just walk faster....right????

Now for those of you who've never hiked the Narrows, it's a 17 mile hike through slot canyons. (Yes, I said 17 miles.) Normal people (or at least smart ones) hike it in two days and camp overnight because of the length and the fact that you have to cross the Virgin River about 100 times and climb over lots of rocks as you go down the slot canyons. But oh no - not us. I think the chemo damaged by reasoning capabilities at the time to delude me into thinking that a person just 7 months out of chemo would be strong enough to handle 17 miles. Eesh. What was I thinking!

I have another Motto that I use quite frequently too. It's from Dori on Finding Nemo: "Nothin' in my noggin!" :)

The initial part of the hike isn't bad - just a trail through a field following a small stream and then walking on smooth rocks through some slot canyons. No problem. By the seven mile mark I was sooo proud of myself. I felt reasonably well and confident in my abilities. We stopped at Big Springs for a 20 minute lunch before beginning again. I spoke up about how well I was doing and how proud I was of myself and my friend Andy quickly burst my bubble. "Don't start congratulating yourself, we haven't reached the hard part yet." Still, I was confident I could do it. No sweat.

The 'hard part' Andy was referring to is a section called Wall Street because of it's many up's and down's. I fondly remember it, and the last 5 miles that followed, as Hell. I have never been so fatigued in my entire life. I have never wanted to lay down and just pass out - even when I was on chemo. By the time I reached mile 10 my body started shutting down. I was in the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced in my entire life and it took everything inside me to put one foot in front of the other. My body just wasn't ready to handle 17 miles and it was screaming at me to stop. Several times Andy and Travis had to come back for me because my legs just wouldn't go any further. There would be rocks to step over and I would just stand there and cry. Rocks that were only a foot high looked like Mount Everest to me.

One main problem about hiking the Narrows is there literally is no way out expect for the end. The walls are so high and sheer that it would be impossible to climb them...not that I could anyway at that point. The sun was going down and we had been walking in water for over 8 hours minus our 20 minute lunch. Now repeat after me: I-N-S-A-N-E!

My entire body ached with fatigue and I didn't know how I was going to make it the rest of the way. I was pleading with Heavenly Father for additional strength and the will to make it. It was then that Travis came and answered my prayers.

"Hun, I know this is tough and I am so proud of you for what you've accomplished. You are amazing to me. We have two choices though. We either keep going and finish or we stop here and try to find a way to keep warm until the morning. Just remember Ging, Johnson's don't quit."

And that was all it took. Three words. Our family motto: Johnson's Don't Quit.

I took a deep breath, reached out for Travis and put one foot in front of the other until we reached the end. I pushed through the pain and repeated the motto in my head over and over. We finished the hike around 10:00 pm that night. My body was unbelievably fatigued to the point of exhaustion but the joy of finishing such an incredible feat was immense. I had done it - chemo ridden body and all.

We recently returned from visiting Zion National Park with our children a few days ago. I can't tell you the great pleasure I felt to be able to show my children a part of where we hiked and tell them the story behind that trek. To look into their eyes and to see that they knew their mother did it. She didn't quit. She didn't give up. She pushed through the pain and discomfort and made it to the end.

I learned a lot of things from that experience. First of all, I can do hard things. Second, I can push my body harder than I ever imagined. And Third, I am a Johnson and Johnson's don't quit.

'Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent." ~ Marylin Vos Savant

In life we are blasted with challenges all around us. Some happen by chance and others come as a result of our own actions. We always have the choice to give up or to keep fighting and win. I hope you will fight. I hope you will rise up to the challenge and face it head on. We are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for and we can do amazing things...even if the odds are against us. Don't Quit!

All my love,

Ginger

I Think Pink - Women's Issues

We would like to thank each of you for your support of breast cancer and the care and concern you demonstrate for the women whose stories are published on this blog. Our hope is that by sharing their story, women experience some type of healing, record the details of their challenge for themselves and others, and take courage in knowing that their experience could be of profound help to another woman in another place with a similar reason to fight. Additionally, it is often therapeutic to read your own story and find that source of strength deep within yourself; a well of inspiration that only comes from reflecting on where you are now and truly how far you have come. There is extreme strength in the power of the human spirit. We want to sincerely thank you for reminding us of that and demonstrating it through the lives you lead.

The fight against breast cancer is real and the powers and interests invested in this cause are growing every day. Breast cancer fighters and survivors are making their stories known and more and more people are taking preventative action in their own lives. The attention is changing individual lives, which is what I Think Pink is all about.

We know that the realm of inspirational, powerful women is not limited to those touched by breast cancer. There are many other issues that reach deeply into the core of women everywhere. Some issues that we've thought about are: motherhood, women in active duty, entrepreneurs, community leaders and volunteers, cancer fighters, overcoming disabilities, heart disease, abuse, struggles with infertility and adoption, MS and a myriad of other issues.
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The Miracle Inside of Me - Ginger's March Update

March 30th we celebrated Brooks 2 year birthday! And since he's my little cancer marker, it's so amazing to believe that 2 years has gone by! Time definitely has a way of fading painful memories. I kind of relate it to child birth. While you're in the moment the pain is what dominates your senses - but give it a couple of months and you've pretty much forgotten how bad it hurt and just enjoy the new baby in your arms. (Guys -- think kidney stones...although you probably don't want to hold them :) )

Rewind to about 3 years ago and we felt that our little family was complete. We had a boy and a girl - both who were out of diapers and well on their way to being independent. Ben was 6, Brinley was 4 and I was enjoying both of them immensely. I was working part time as an aerobic instructor and the extra money was fun to have. I was so content in how easy things had become that I didn't want anything to upset it - and that included another baby. Gosh- as I write this it sounds so selfish - but I should mention that I grew up in a 1200 sq ft home with 7 siblings. 2 kids was refreshing after dealing with that for 24 years. :)

One day as I was talking with Travis, we just looked at each other and knew that we needed to have another child. And it wasn't a few months later that I was pregnant...and a few months after that when I found the lump in my breast. Being pregnant sped up the growth of the cancer so that we could find it quickly. Had I not gotten pregnant, the cancer could still be growing inside me even now and we would of found it much later. It makes me shiver to think of how that would of been.

I am very, very, very grateful for the miracle who came to essentially save my life. My little miracle from heaven who has been a welcomed blessing ever since. I love you Brooks. ~ Love Mom :)