Dee's Story

My name is Dee and this is My Journey of Faith, Courage and Love Shrouded by Fear.

As I reflect over this past year, I wonder how I ever managed to get through all of the trials and procedures facing me. My journey was filled with faith, courage and the loving support of my husband, friends, doctors, nurses and technicians. However, along this journey there was also fear. It all started in August of 2007 when a co-worker began telling me of a type of breast cancer I had never heard of before."

It is very hard to detect and the signs are not the same as normal breast cancer." Those words began the fear that followed me for quite some time. Inflammatory Breast Cancer - what is that? My two sisters had breast cancer years ago and both are survivors. But there are not normal lumps to feel with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. I wanted to rush home from work to check my breasts. The last mammogram I had was 2 1/2 years prior. Caring for my husband who became terminal with a serious liver disease 7 years before and working full time had become priorities in my life. My husband and I were married for 42 years. He had no idea of the year that was to come.

That evening I looked carefully. I was never very good with self-exams, although I did them from time to time. Tonight, this was different. There was a dent underneath the right breast. I can't remember seeing this before. I didn't notice the swollen redness that was there. Along with the dent, my nipple was wrinkled. Is that normal I thought. Without hesitation, an appointment was made for a mammogram.

Previously, about 4 or 5 years ago, I had 2 needle biopsies, one in each breast. It was benign. So when the technician took some time to come back into the exam room, I knew there was a problem. Trying not to worry a second mammogram was taken of the right breast. And again I waited, feeling the fear grow.

By the time I got to work, I had numerous telephone calls waiting for me from my physician to set up a needle biopsy appointment. And it was confirmed. I had Inflammatory Breast Cancer. An appointment with my oncologist was immediately set; my doctor explaing the detailed treatment that was to be done; i.e. the types of chemotherapy; the length of the treatments; and what to expect - fatigue, hair loss, depression, etc. The "BIG" guns of chemo was about to begin. I felt unusally at ease, feeling at "home" at the cancer cancer, feeling the loving concern for the entire person. This was half the battle.

My husband, daughter, and a very close girlfriend were all extremely helpful and encouraging as they took care of me. My daughter shaved my head as I did not want to face clumps of hair falling out. To show their support, my husband and son proceeded to shave their heads. Words cannot express the excellent treatment I received from my doctor and nurses as they carefully watched my blood count and provided the necessary medications. After I was given the first shot to build up my white blood count, I found myself in the emergency room from the excruciating pain in my chest. I thought I was having a heart attack. I soon learned what I needed to do to relieve the pain and continue with my treatments. Although I was extremely fatigued, the encouragement I received from the team at the oncologist center, my friends, cards full of kind words from those I served at my place of employment continued to strenghten me. But most of all, my husband who never missed a treatment, test, or doctor's visit.

About 2 months after my chemo treatments, I scheduled my surgery with mixed emotions. I thought - maybe I don't need the surgery. The signs of the cancer were gone due to the chemo treatments. As I waited during the 2 months for my blood to build up for the surgery, the skin on my breast began to look like the skin of an orange again. As the fear shrouded my life, one could see the horrendous strength of Inflammatory Breast Cancer as it began to strike back.

The mastectomy left me with two large drainage tubes where my breast used to be. Can this really be happening to me. My daughter, Lydia, and close friend, Carol helped me to relax and let the process of healing continue. The time soon came in March for the radiation treatments to start. Again, I found myself surrounded by doctors, technicians and personnel who cared for the entire person. As I went every day, I wondered why they continued to encourage me. They marveled at how well I was doing which made my smile grow wider. The last 5 treatments, which were the strongest and aimed at the incision site, made my skin begin to break down and develop large open burns. An assortment of creams were used 2 -3 times a day. My healing was slow but it DID heal.

I would like to say that the cancer center and radiation center gives extreme support to cancer patients and survivors. They have sponsored luncheons and programs like "Look Good, Feel Better" which builds confidence, esteem, and courage to all. My best advice is to seek out these programs and share your experience which will not only build you up but also encourage others.

I am currently having hormone therapy as preventive medicine to deter any new signs of cancer. The fear lingers in the back of my mind, but I am determined not to let it stop me from leading my life as I did before. My husband and I am active in our faith which has sustained me through this ordeal. I have always felt that when you are faced with a trial and/or tragedy, it is important in the healing process to find and use the positive side to help others. I encourage ALL women to regularly do self-exams, get the mammograms, and follow thru with whatever treatment you and your doctor decide on. Whatever I can do to help the cause of fighting this disease, I will do. I will continue to talk to anyone who will listen about the symptoms of Inflammatory Breast Cancer.

At the end of January, I resumed my secular work with anticipation hoping my strength would hold up. I am so fortunate to have an employer who allowed whatever was needed; rest periods, doctor visits, and emotional and spiritual encouragement.

My greatest challenge is yet ahead. That is to continue to be strong and support my husband in his fight against his newly diagnosed lung cancer.