Kimberly's Story from Connecticut

Greetings! This is off the top of my head....a free write essay I guess you could say!

First, some basics: I am 36 (37 on September 23, 2007), married, work out fanatic, former teacher and gymnastics coach, and a mom to three daughters-ages 7,6, and 4.

I went for my annual appt. on May 7, 2007. My GYN said all was good and that she liked to have her patients get a baseline mammogram between the ages of 35-39. I was cool with that as was Blue Cross/Blue Shield!

May 23, 2007 I went for my first ever mammogram....I was a little amused wondering how they were going to find any kind of tissue to squeeze within that vice like machine! Lisa-the tech. (who was AWESOME!!) told me not to be surprised if I got a call back-totally normal-especially for baseline mammogram patients.

I didn't give it another thought....went on my way and had a great Memorial Day Weekend! Tuesday, May 29, 2007 I got a call from Lisa to come back in. I was able to get in on May 30. My mom stayed in the waiting room with my girls while I went in.

The radiologist sat with me and said she recommended I get a biopsy. "It's probably nothing. There is less than 20% chance this is anything to worry about." Again, I left not in panic mode. My mother was a bit taken aback because I had three kids to worry about with school and sports schedules!

I went on June 12, 2007 to Hartford Hospital for the stereotactic biopsy. Dr. Cronin and his assistant, Michelle, were fabulous! It didn’t take that long....uncomfortable as hell of a position to be in, but my dose of Ativan helped with nerves!!!! Dr. Cronin said he would call me within 24 hours with the results.

1:15pm, Wednesday, June 13, 2007. I was sitting at the kitchen table and two of my three kids were watching TV when "the call" came. Dr. Cronin’s aid the preliminary findings showed DCIS.

I was writing furiously every word he said on paper. From this point, I jumped into survival-"get this taken care of " mode.

The friends/family who knew I was going for the biopsy were owed an explanation- they were as anxious as I was to know the result.....every one of them believed I would be fine.....ME, from the time I was told I needed a biopsy, I was not convinced everything was OK. Call it intuition, pessimistic, whatever you want!

My husband came home from work and I started the phone calls. Throughout the remainder of the afternoon and evening I couldn't believe I was uttering the words to people "I have breast cancer."

I talked with the school psychologist, principal, kid's teachers....I needed to take care of my kids was my first thought! I had an idea of how I would handle telling them, but wanted confirmation from the experts.

If there has ever been a time I am grateful for my assertive, get it done, look out for #1 (and #1 is me when it comes to my health), and decisive nature....now was that time!

Close friends of ours are in-laws with Dr. Carolyn Kaelin-Director of the Breast Center at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, MA. I had the privilege of connecting with her over the phone the night of my diagnosis....I learned more about breast cancer/treatment options/magnets on an MRI machine, etc....then I ever thought I would need to know!

My husband and I made the decision to seek treatment up in Boston. Russ, my husband summed it up very well.....treatment here in Hartford was like eating at a good restaurant in town-getting treatment in Boston at Brigham and Women's/Dana Farber was like a meal in New York City.....WORLD CLASS.

I elected to go for a bilateral mastectomy. Dr. Mehra Golshan is my breast surgeon and Dr.Charles Hergrueter is my reconstruction surgeon. I did not think twice about the bilateral mastectomy.

Dr. Golshan talked about a lumpectomy as an option. I point blank looked at him and said "Get this S*** out of me. I want the lowest possible risk of it ever coming back." He knew right then he was dealing with a straight shooter, no pussy footin' around kinda girl!

My two month anniversary of being cancer free is coming up on September 18, 2007. I have never had a woe is me, why me type attitude. Have I been mad...you bet! My life as I knew it has changed. Aspects of my "old" life are there....family, friends, the gym, volunteering at school, baking for the homeless, being too neat and organized...but my life is forever changed.

I am still trying to wrap my head around how it has changed...how I want to reach out and help other. I have contacted Oprah, Parents Magazine, our town paper, The Hartford Courant and Parenting Magazine and still have yet to hear a response from any of them.

When that tragedy in Chesier, CT happened over the summer with the four family members who were killed from the home invasion I have remembered the words of Dr. Petit. At the memorial service he said to reach out and help your neighbor and fight for a cause.

I know there have got to be young women like myself who are going through breast cancer, reconstruction, and the slew of emotions that go along with having the "C" word.

If you saw me on the street, you would never know anything had happened to me...one week post op I started walking to the mailbox and back to get the blood going again....the four drains came out six days post op so I began to feel a bit more human again. I started a series of crazy standing leg exercises to gain some strength and stamina again. Two weeks post op I made my debut to the gym...slow going to start and I am still SO WEAK in the chest area, but I am there every day! One step at a time-one sweat bead at a time!

My husband is a hero....the patience, support; involvement, commitment, and compassion are admirable. And the way I described him is how he is most all the time. He is a gem-thank you, Russ.

I have been told I am an inspiration to women for having a positive outlook and being back at the gym....thank you to all for your kind words, cheering, hugs, and listening! I am blessed with so many wonderful family members and friends.

Survivorship as Lance Armstrong calls it in "It's Not About the Bike" is a strange place to be.....I do not need chemotherapy or radiation. The two invasive parts were very small. I was "only" a stage 1 cancer patient. I am on Tomoxifen for five years. I understand that the sentinel node and one other were negative, I understand that the invasive parts are gone.....but still, I don’t have cancer and I don't not have cancer.

I'd be lying if I said I don't wonder if it's circulating around in my blood slowly getting ready to attack again. I don't live in fear, and I long for the day I feel comfortable in my own skin again and don’t think about cancer or recovery most of the day.

I beieve I will prevail. This sucks, and I will get through it. When the practical/sense of humor part of me kicks in I am so glad it was caught early......kudos to my GYN, Dr. Patricia Fagan for suggesting the baseline....never would have thought to do that on my own at this point!!!!

Cancer came knocking at my body and took parts of it. It will not get my spirit.

In Good Health, Kimberly Malz

South Glastonbury, Connecticut