Shelley's Story

My story began October of 1999 as I was breast feeding my 9 month old son. The lump around the end of my nipple just didn't feel like the normal clogged milk duct; however I still didn't get to uptight about it. I took my son in for his 9 month check up and just asked the doctor to check it out while I was there. He felt it and felt confident that it too was a clogged milk duck and that I shouldn't worry. I will forever be grateful to him for acting on the side of caution as he said since you are here lets do a needle aspiration. I agreed and he assured me that if he could guess 999 possibilites, cancer would be the 1000 posibility. The needle aspiration drew no fluid, but again he assured me all would be fine, but again acting on the side of caution sent me down to have a biopsy. The next day I was hit with the life changing news that I had breast cancer. I felt like I had just been hit with a ton of bricks. I was the epitimy of health. I had no history of breast cancer in my family. I was 36 years old. I was a farm girl/teacher who worked hard on the farm, exercised daily, cooked all my meals from scratch, and had a strong belief in God. How could this happen to me? The rest happened all very quickly. I was sent to the best oncology doctor in the state and together we devised a plan. I agreed to do a study where I would take 4 rounds of chemo, have a total masectamy, and follow up with another 4 rounds of chemo. Following my chemo, I would have 36 radiation treatments. My oncologist told me that he would have to make me really really sick to make me really really better. I put my trust in him and my faith in God and set off on this unplanned journey. I feel I have truely been brushed with death, and have come out a winner. This journey has definately changed my life. I was determined from the get go, that I was a fighter, and I was going to win this battle. I quickly put aside the tears, "why me," and anger, and turned it around and said "why not me." I am going to win this battle and be a witness to others. I was teaching high school and coaching basketball, and chose to keep it up. I missed about 5 days of school during my enitre time of treatment. I had 3 children, a wonderful husband, and a supporting family, that never lets obsticles get in our way. I have been taught to fight them head on. There were days I felt horrible, but I would make myself get up and go to work, I didn't want to lay around and feel miserable. I learned real quickly how powerful your mind is. By going to work and coaching and being around kids, my days of yuck, were less because I choose to fight those days head on. I am not one to lie around thinking about how bad I feel. During my treatments I would sit in the waiting room; the youngest in the room, and people would marvel at my determination and my spirit. I volunteered counseling to others and found it as a great form of healing. The cancer center even had me make a DVD of my testamony that they show to all newly diagnoised patients to deliver hope to them. It is amazing the people I have met that recognize me from the DVD and say "your that girl on the cancer DVD." I surrounded myself with poitive people, positive thoughts, and never doubted that I wasn't going to win this battle. After I lost my hair, I continued to play pick-up basketball games with my players choosing to wear a stocking hat. My wig was saved for all other times; I did have to watch out for the Kansas winds as it made for a bad hair day when it would pratically blow off my head. My kids have learned what philanthropy is and means. They too have been so positive and supportive. As a family they all join me in "The Race For the Cure, The East-West Run, and The Race for Life. The have a deeper understanding of what it means to reach out to others. My daughters are members of Friendship Club; a club that has all special need students as they enjoy helping others and are not afraid to help that less fortunate child. I have learned that YOU have the choice to either fight the fight or give into the fight. You can either have your glass half full or half empty. I have always been a competitor, but I am even a strong one today. I was asked to be the captain of the Victory In The Valley East-West run and got over 200 kids from my high school to come out and support the run. It was the greatest feeling ever having all those cheering kids encouraging you as you come across the finish line. I still continue to work out and run daily and have made it my personal witness plan to always wear my pink "I am a survivor" t-shirt. Every day I have it on. It is a reminder to me as to where I have come from and how fortunate and thankful that I am every day. It also sends a message to all I meet and see that there are winners from people who have been diagnosed with cancer and you too can overcome the odds. It stops many people and brings great conversation from alot of people. I am also a walking testamony to my students as I preach to them the importance of monthly self examinations. Cancer is not the end of your lifes journey. I looked at it as a detour; an unexpected road that is less traveled. However my mission to others is for them to see the road they are traveling is paved and has been traveled unfortunatley by many, and they too have won the fight and are moving on down the road. I believe God had a plan for me to be this witness to others and this is the way he had to get through to me. I would tell others that cancer can't take away my desire to live, my faith, my spirit, my determination, my family, but it can make me a stronger person, a witness to others and a strong believer that good things happen for a reason. I am happy to report that I am 7 1/2 years cancer free and have had no reaccurance. I am on a new study and have 2 1/2 years left of taking Femara. I like knowing that I a helping fight the fight for others so that they don't have to go down the road I traveled. I still have the pair of ruby shoes that a friend sent me reminding me of the magic that not only will I live, I will thrive.