Do Good, Feel Better - Ginger's Update

There's something about the holidays that fills the air with magic, and something about sending the kids back to school that provides the ultimate feeling of Joy! Ah freedom! Bless the public education system and those teachers who watch over my kids during the day. :)

My holidays were great as usual - but this year they were even more special because my father was around to share them with our family. He was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer right after I finished my chemo treatments and it wasn't looking pretty for awhile there. But now - after lots of nasty treatments, helpful prayers and a positive attitude - they can't find the cancer anymore and he's gone back to work. It's a real live miracle. One I'm glad to be a part of.

I was able to continue Do Good, Feel Better at McKay Dee hospital in December and it was great fun to see the patients faces when they found out they won a prize just for being in the chemo room. I love seeing their faces light up. It's such a contrast to when I first enter the room. It is so much fun to make people happy. Especially when you know how awful they feel. Empathy is a beautiful thing.

I was also selected to be the 2009 President for Young Survivor Sisters - A breast cancer support group for girls who live along the Wasatch Front, who are under the age of 45 and who are breast cancer survivors. So if you are reading this - and you're a survivor - and you're under the age of 45 - CONGRATULATIONS! You just became a member! Our group now totals around 41 girls and is growing each month. A sad reality of the current situation. But having our group for support was a life saver for me! The girls in the group have been through it all. I think the youngest a girl was diagnosed in our group was at age 21. We have girls who were pregnant, girls who were nursing, girls who were/are triathlon participants and aerobic instructors. We have girls who are single and girls with lots of kids. Girls who've had hysterectomies and girls who had kids after chemo was over. We even have girls who went through divorces during their treatments. Yep - if you've got breast cancer - we can help. Young Survivor Sister - where support is guaranteed and boobs are optional. :)

You can visit our blog at www.youngsurvivorsisters.blogspot.com or email our group at youngsurvivorsisters@gmail.com for more information. We get together during the year to chat and also provide lots of email support. We just had our 2nd Annual Celebration of Life Dinner and Social at the Lion House in SLC. It was an amazing evening! Especially considering the fact that we are not a non-profit group or anything like that - but we were able to enjoy a night of dinner, entertainment and prizes all valued over $10,000 total for free. Just because there are good people out there who wanted to support our group and did more than just talk - they actually did it. People are good.

This year I'm planning on turning Do Good, Feel Better into a non-profit to try to do more good for more people. I'm also working on getting my health back to what it needs to be. My friend is hosting a "Biggest Loser" contest that I entered and I'm going to win it! I've decided that being healthy is just a state of mind. Anyone can do it - they just have to make the choice and stick to it. I've tackled bigger challenges and so getting healthy again should be a walk in the park. (I say that now - hee hee). But with anything in life - it's all about enduring to the end and being happy along the way.

I hope you all enjoy today. It will be over soon. What will you do with it? I hope you'll find ways to make others happy and, in turn, find happiness yourself.

And finally, I'd like to leave you with 20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you something, ask "if they want fries with that".
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "For smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish ALL your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".
8. Dont use any punctuation when typing a sentence not at all ever no matter what you write
9. As often as possible, Skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your Drive-through order is 'To Go'.
12. Sing along to your favorite song in your best Opera voice, with the windows down.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their parity because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name. I go by Boobless Wonder.
17. When your money comes out of the ATM scream "I Won! I Won!".
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THEY'RE LOOSE!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Ad the final way to keep a healthy level of Insanity is to pass this on to someone and make them smile. That's called Therapy. :)

All my love!

Ginger :)

Ginger's November Update

*Editors Note: From November 2008 until October 2009, For Every Body will follow Ginger Johnson, the 2008 Think Pink for Life Honoree. Subscribe to this blog to be updated every time Ginger updates. Thank you for all your support!

Life is about Joy. It's true! I know many say life is about making money or living well or getting this or that. But honestly, life is about Joy. It's about the little things that make each day special. Seeing the sun rise, smelling the rain, listening to a child's laughter or truly laughing yourself. I'm talking - a serious good chuckle! It's about finding happiness even when it seems that there is none to be found. It's about lifting those around you and feeling the love that comes because of your deeds. It's about learning to overlook the small things that would otherwise bug you and forgiving as quickly as possible.

One of my favorite quotes that hangs on my kitchen wall is this: "In all of living have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." ~Pres. Gordon B Hinckley

That is so true!!! Life IS to be enjoyed. Now I'm not saying that everything will always be peaches and cream and that rose colored glasses will be the trend of the day. But as we live each day on this wonderful earth, we have the opportunity to choose how we will respond to the things around us. What a beautiful gift choice is. It is in our power to take any situation, good or bad, and make it better. It is in our power to overlook the slights of others so that we are not poisoned by our own hate. We get to choose how most things affect us and we can choose to find the good in every situation. I have a dear friend who underwent a nasty divorce and still was able to find humor in the situation. Of course, she was making fun of her estranged husband - but he really was doing humorous things! Poor man. Oh, the opposition we face in life. Sometimes it can seem so overwhelming, like the sun will not shine and the dark clouds just won't go away. I know. I've been there. But I've also seen the beauty of the sunrise and the silver and gold lining on those same clouds as the storm passes. Another quote I love: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

When was the last time you let go of the stresses of the day and did just that - dance in the rain. When was the last time you left your 'adulthood' behind and said the word "Echo" really loud in an open area. I have to say that I truly love and appreciate the opportunity to experience cancer because now I do dance and I do shout 'Echo'. All the time! I dance with my kids, I dance while I clean. I smile and just dance. I also scream with excitement when my favorite movies are about to play. Yes, while I'm in the theater! (Sorry to all those moms in High School Musical 3 - and hooray to all the young girls who joined in with me! :) )

I know that some people out there can't stand other people who seem to be happy all the time and I truly pity those people. I often wonder what sadness has caused them to reach that point. What hurt in their life can they not let go of? I know first hand that holding on to hate and anger sours your soul. But as soon as you let it go, the burden is lifted and you can smile once again and really experience the joy that is around you.

So go on - let go of the things that are holding you back and learn to truly live! Have 'much fun and laughter' so that your life journey can be 'enjoyed, not just endured!'

All my love!

Ginger Johnson

Now Accepting Stories for 2009

For Every Body would like to sincerely thank each of you who shared your experience with breast cancer with us in 2008. Each of the stories we received was touching and heartfelt. We appreciate your willingness to remind us all how far reaching this disease is and what each of us needs to do to help eliminate the fear associated with breast cancer and vigilantly work towards finding a cure. We truly do admire your courage and strength.

We are excited to announce our plans to continue our involvement with breast cancer. In 2009, we plan to again support a survivor, a child who has lost his or her mother, and a woman currently fighting breast cancer.

We invite each of you to spread the word about our search for stories. You are welcome to share yours again. We will keep the search open until summer 2009, but encourage you to share as early as possible so others may find inspiration and hope through reading your experiences.

To share your story or to receive more information about Think Pink, please visit www.ithinkpink.org. Check back here often to read updates from our 2008 Honoree, Ginger Johnson.

Congratulations to Ginger Johnson 2008 Honoree

The 2008 Evening in Pink event was a memorable evening for many and an inspirational evening for all. Paul Anderson CEO and Becky Anderson Founder of For Every Body were pleased to announce Ginger Johnson of Layton Utah as the 2008 Honoree. The For Every Body management proudly presented Ginger Johnson a check for $10,000 to help cover medical expenses and recovery efforts. "We're happy to work with Ginger over the next year to to build breast cancer awareness" said Becky.

Becky Anderson Founder For Every Body (left) with Ginger Johnson 2008 Honoree (middle), also Ginger Johnson Cancer survivor presented blanket (right).

Ginger Johnson awarded $10,000. Pictured left to right: Joe Draper, Scot Lunceford, Becky Anderson, Ginger Johnson, Ben, Brinley, Brooks, and Travis Johnson.

Kevin Sharp Country artist and cancer survivor.

Below is Ginger Johnson's story. Check back often to follow Ginger's progress through out the year.


Ginger Johnson's Story

The night was filled with excitement as we sat around the large oak table at my mom’s house. It was October 31st 2006 - Halloween - and the entire family had gathered to share in the festivities. The 'oohs' and 'aahs' over the creative costumes had already been given and candy had been passed around to appease the children. As I sat there, staring into the faces of my six sisters and my parents, I couldn't believe what I was going to have to tell them. "I have some good news and some bad news" I began. I could see the anticipation in their faces, not knowing what was coming. "I'm five months pregnant...and I was diagnosed with breast cancer this afternoon." Faces that were at first excited turned immediately to shock. And that's how my story began.

I was 31 years old with no history of breast cancer in my immediate family, 5 months pregnant with two other children, and with six sisters whose lives changed after one mere phrase. The words 'Breast Cancer' alone can strike fear into the heart of any woman. But add it to the word 'Pregnant' and it takes on a whole new meaning. I remember sitting in the surgeon’s office as he spoke the words of my diagnosis. What was thought to be nothing because of its appearance on my areola, turned out to be invasive cancer. Many questions should have run through my mind - What would this mean for me and for my unborn child? How will I get through this? - But they didn't. Instead I just smiled and said, "Ok what do we do first?" I was instantly in survival mode. I had been through tough times before and had found the means to be happy and to turn bad situations into good ones and this new diagnosis of breast cancer wasn't going to be any different. I would be happy and I would find a way to help others during my journey. At least by so doing I would find peace within myself and that would pull me through the rough times ahead. And so it began.

My first mastectomy was while I was 6 months pregnant. And although I joked with my surgeon and operating room nurses about how fashionable their blue hats and scrubs were I was nervous about the outcome. How would this all work out? What would it be like only have on breast? Could I still breast feed my newborn baby? After the surgery and the bandages were removed I mourned the loss of my breast as other survivors have. The difference for me was that I only have large breasts when I'm pregnant, so it was a double whammy to have one of my 'rewards' removed during its prime! Other cancer survivors who are not pregnant also don't understand the feeling you get as you look in the mirror and see a HUGE pregnant belly and only one breast. Many in my situation would have cried for days - but I just couldn't. For me it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen! Laughter became my medicine.

I waited to have my auxiliary node dissection until May of 2007 after the birth of my son and the cancer had spread. My final diagnosis was Stage 2B. Next stop - Chemotherapy. Let the fun begin.

Imagine being a student in first grade who has been assigned to take a college class for individuals in their 30s. Now add on another 30 to 40 years and that's what it felt like walking into the chemo room. First of all, I was way too young to be there, and second, no one in the room was smiling. I had never been around anyone with cancer before, or seen the affects it can take on a person. I was shocked to see that all the treatment chairs were full and everyone looked so solemn and sad. I soon learned why firsthand. They were being killed on a cellular level and I was next.

Chemotherapy is what should be given to criminals instead of jail time. I'm convinced that it would be the 'cure all' for those who choose to violate the law. One strong dose and they would NEVER want to be bad again. But no, instead it's given to the un-expecting people who just want to live good lives a little bit longer. If you've never experienced the effects of Chemotherapy, there's really no way to explain it properly. It's something you have to experience because of the intense, horrible, wrenching, disgusting, gross, foul, loathsome (and one more adjective for emphasis) yucky reactions you have to it. Everyone's experience with chemo is different but we all have one thing in common - the experience isn't good.

After my first treatment I understood why the other people in the Chemo room didn't smile and I was determined to do something about that. But what can you do for sick people who don't really want to be bothered during treatment? And what could I do being a mother of 3 with a newborn baby, working full time from home and being beat down by the effects of chemotherapy? Then after a sleepless night I figured it out. BINGO! Quite literally...Bingo. You can do it sitting down, I would be the caller and the patients would just have to mark a square on a piece of paper, then I could hand out prizes to whoever won - BUT my oncologist didn't think that was such a great idea. So on to idea number two...I'd just give out prizes...awards for just being alive, for being a fighter. For taking our chemo medicine and for living one more day. We should be rewarded just for being strong enough to be a survivor. And so that's what I did for the entire 6 months I had my chemo treatments. I contacted local businesses on my 'good' days and drove around with my kids to pick up the donated prizes. We had gift certificates from Target, Home Depot, Red Robin, Great Harvest, Wendy's and more. People opened their hearts to my 'Do Good, Feel Better' project and gave freely. You should have seen the faces of the chemo patients on the first day of my treatment when I told them there were going to win prizes for being in the chemo room. It was so memorable. Some were shocked, some didn't want to participate (at first) but most welcomed the change.

As the months rolled on, a younger person than me entered the chemo room. He was 18 and had testicular cancer. He was quiet and shy at first, but after winning the prizes and interacting with the others in the room during 'prize time, he soon opened up and we all enjoyed his contributions to the conversations. The chemo room on Thursdays was the place to be - I'd hand out prizes, sing the occasional upbeat song to the patients and even got my favorite nurse, Daryl, to dance a jig. Many patients even changed their appointment times to be able to be there for the giveaways. Now in telling all this I don't want to portray someone who is bragging about what I did - or oooh look at me - I'm so wonderful. It's not that at all. What I want to get across is that good things can come from bad experiences if we are willing to open our hearts to others and share the goodness inside. I received FAR more than I ever gave away. I gained happiness, peace and the opportunity to live a longer life with my dear husband and children. Other friends in the chemo room weren't as fortunate and I've mourned losing them.

During my chemo experience my slogan has been 'Just Keep Swimming' taken from the song sung by Dori on the movie Finding Nemo. In life we all have to 'Just Keep Swimming' no matter what kinds of currents we face. No one is exempt from the difficulties of life and if you think the grass is greener on the other side you might want to double check because it's most likely artificial turf. We all have challenges to overcome - but by reaching out to help others, we find that our hands are open to receive what they have to share with us in return.

My chemo experience ended in November of 2007 but the memories and the friendships I made remain. Since then I've had a second mastectomy in Feb. of 08 and an ovary removed in June. I jokingly tell everyone they can now call me 'Jim' since I look more like a man every day. :) My battle continues but so does my determination to stay positive through this journey. It's not always easy and I admit that I've had my moments of utter grief and self pity, but I also have memories of those in the chemo room who had it much worse that I did and I remember to be grateful that I 'just' have breast cancer. I've seen worse.

To top off my experience, after I completed chemotherapy, my father was diagnosed with Stage 4 esophageal cancer. I can not explain the great blessing it is to be able to look my dad in the eyes and honestly say 'I completely understand what you're going through. I know the pain you'll feel and the thoughts that will roll through your mind. Dad, I'm here.' The role of caregiver has been reversed and I find that because of my cancer experience I am, once again, able to offer love, support and understanding to someone dear who's going through the cancer battle field.

Although I never want to endure chemo again, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. It has changed who I am. It made me a better person and forced me to choose what type of person I was going to be: Someone who helped, or someone who just hurt.

To those of you who have fought the fight and continue to win daily, look for others who need your love, support and understanding. You can offer so much because you know what it's really like and can offer true empathy. You can be a pillar of strength to those who are scared and down hearted.

For those of you who have just been diagnosed - don't worry - there are those who have gone before who can help you and although the time ahead will be a challenge - you can do it. You have more strength inside of you than you know and more people who love and will support you than you can imagine. It will be alright. You can get through this. Just keep swimming.

I'm currently in the process of tracking down a plastic surgeon I can trust to complete my reconstruction. So my journey continues. Looking like a 3 year old is only fun for so long...scratch that - it's never fun. But it's one of the last things that need to be completed before I'll feel like this part of my journey is coming to a close.

You asked us to share our greatest challenge and the interesting thing I've found, is that for me, my battle through breast cancer hasn't been dealing with the pain, lack of strength, or self image issues. The hardest thing for me to overcome has been guilt. I feel guilt due to the fact that I've created more debt for my family. Even if it was unintentional - the bills keep coming in and I'm the reason for it. Chemo leaves your body, your hair eventually grows back, the memories of the aches and pains fade - but the bills still have to be paid. Somehow.

BUT, as always, we do what we can, a little at a time, everyday until we reach our goal. We keep swimming and moving forward and we help others along the way. Together we survive.

All my Love!Ginger Johnson

Georgia's Story

I was told I had Breast Cancer in Febuary 1988 at 31 years old with no family history. You name it & I have been though it or so it seems. I am a 20 year survivor & had hoped never to deal with this disease again. In Feb of 2007 my sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and it was just like I had it again. We did make it though everything again. My sister was diagnosed again this year at the end of July in the other breast with over 20 tumors with triple negative breast cancer this time. I have been so busy with her time has slipped by. I have tried to have things go differently for her with our family than how it was for me. Way back them no one really understood and it ways very hard for anyone to be around me. I know that it is very important to have a support system when dealing with life, death & illness. I have learned so much with all of this, like what is REALLY important in life. I always try to be there for my sister, to help and encourage her and to stay possitive. My whole family has been involed with my sister's medical out come & recovery. Right now her only option is chemo again for 3 months. I just helped remove what was left of h e r new head of hair. I am woking on some fund raisers for her as she can no longer work and with so very many medical bills she is just about to loose everything. I hate this. If I were a spokes person for survivors I would tell everyone that you must keep Faith & stay Positive...No matter what!! It's really the little things in life that make & keep you happy. I truly hope some day there is more finanical help for Breast Cancer Patients, as this is just 1 more worry for them. Sincerly, your surviving sister-Georgiap.s. wish I had more time to really share our story, but my time is ocuppied with and for my sister right now. I would give all the money to my sister to help releave some of her burdens.

Noreen's Story

What could I possibility write what has had not been written about Breast Cancer so many inspiring stories that that so many of us read and marvel at the person’s courage and strength. My story is a tale of to much reality it really isn’t all pink ribbons and races for the cure it’s about life long side effects from drugs that do allot of harm to our bodies, indifferent Doctors and hospitals the medical issues could go on and on. When you do recover from the cancer treatment society also throws many issues you way background checks that can pick up your illness if you haven’t worked a good bit of the time, no real help from job rehab every government and state agencies saying sorry I Can’t help you.

People who know about your illness, Yes folks I am one of those people who had had cancer more than once either didn’t want to look you in the eyes or they just broke down in tears. I can’t tell you how many old friends that I had to comfort. The funny thing when you are telling them you are ok they kind of want to believe you but they kind of don’t really. How could anyone not have doubts I had them myself, for to many people my illness was their worse nightmare, 37 is pretty young for Breast Cancer.

Later in my journey and talking with others in the breast cancer community I learned many get it even younger there is know certain age for breast cancer it really just isn’t your mother’s disease. The so called safety nets many in the medical community like to talk about like having children, not eating meat, exercising, and on and on don’t really make you immune. Talking with so many women in chat rooms and message boards you do find that out. They seemed betrayed they did all the things told to them still happened. My own thoughts were of course why me? What did I do to deserve this? As more and more things happened I still never got the answer to this.

What do you think when alot of the information doesn’t ring true you might ask? Well this is where the inter voice we all have comes in. I kind of call it a gift from the Creator of us all. I have found that through out my life this inter voice is my protector some would call it angel, the voice of God what ever you want to call it came early to me as you can read from my beginnings.

I was raised in the late sixties the daughter of a carpenter and a stay at home mom the youngest of 4 children. I was a cute Pixie like child who was quiet, imaginative. I dreamed of going to Africa and seeing the great cats. I loved Lions and loved to draw, and loved horses and playing with Barbie's. My sister and I were one year apart in age and shared a room in those early days in our innocence it would take decades to understand what we lived through.

Our father was a angry man, his background is one of violence against others began early in his life, fighting and stealing .He even tried the service for I guess some kind of control but even that didn’t work. This was a man who in his later years would cause such damage to the four children he gave birth to they would live with the scars for many years to come. I recall one event that is very clear still, my father was in a rage screaming and threatening all of us. Especially my mother she had decided to leave and we all went to get into the car. Running out of the house as the motor started came my father screaming at me I was on my mother’s side of the car (we had all the doors locked).He threaten to smash my window with his fist if I didn’t open the door. Now he and my mother started yelling at each other than his fist went throw the driver’s side window.

We all screamed in terror as the window broke into a million pieces. I remember my father stumbling away from the car into the house blood dripping everywhere. Then in our horror our mother gets out of the car and follows him into the house to see if he was ok. Well needless to say 4 children were deathly afraid that their mother was in the house getting killed, this fight was one example of many violent battles. When you are young you almost see your parents as immortal and the idea that one could turn on the other was just too much to handle. We were kids we couldn’t really fight back not like today child abuse really has come along way in 30 years. What I find strange to this day even in the early days I had a little spirit inside of me that could reason and look out for myself I knew something was wrong with him he just wasn’t right.

You might ask yourself what does this have to do with breast cancer? It took me allot of years to understand that even bad can prepare you In life for worst trails .You might think to yourself how much worst can it get than having cancer more than once and a not very good childhood. Well the good news is that my father took of for parts unknown when I was 12. I went to high school and some college and married a great guy. I worked in a factory and retail management for allots of years before my cancer. I was restless never seemed to settle down really we bought a house raised Siberian huskies we choose not to have children. The eighties and nineties were expensive times to live it took every bit of our money to keep our modest home going. We always knew that we loved each other (still do) we worked hard and it seemed to be never enough.

So many broken children grow up to be broken adults they go through their lives never understanding why they do the things that they do. So many of us can’t figure out why things happen too us and why can’t we can’t just enjoy life. For some of us it takes unbelievable changes to wake us! Cancer certainly can do that, it wakes you and shakes you and throws you against the wall. God certainly comes into play here let face it folks chemo is not really a cure but it is the best we have for now. Praying sure does help I had people of all faiths praying for me I figured that everything helps. I had so many warm wishes and kind words it did kind of surprise me. Personally I wasn’t the type of hugging emotional person that alot of people are if you knew me you knew. I was a very good friend.

I wasn’t fake just a bit reserved but kind and good to all. Cancer did change my personality some I would do the things I would never normally do. One funny story was I was doing an art show (yes folks I found My art again) that’s what I went to school for. Now the a woman in the booth near us was walking around this is common in art shows before the customers come in allot of vendors network with others find out about shows etc. Our new friend seemed really upset and than she blurred out to me that she didn’t know why but she just felt she had to tell me about her possible breast cancer diagnose. She was waiting for biopsy results now whether it was divine or not I couldn’t really know for sure. I told her my story of more than one cancer and having stage three cancer and being a survivor at the time of 5 years. We talked I think she felt a little better I gave her a hug and my phone number and told her to call me if she wasn’t ok but and happily she never called me so I am guessing she was ok.

But just chance meetings like that with people now seem to fill my life. I would never have done than before cancer did I care about for people yes more than most but I never would have given of myself so easily. When for a lot of years of your life you emotions are going all over the place you never trust them and you kind of don’t feel the way you should when things happen, this will be true when the cancer rx comes.Now remembering the beginnings of my treatment what could I say about the day? When I was told it was a sad day and believe it or not folks I was told over the phone and than it was the call to the family surgeon. Now what can I say about this man he is a wonderful person I knew him since I was 12 it couldn’t have been easy for him he knew my whole family and my mother worked for friends of his. Now stage 3 cancer is not a good Rx when your surgeon comes to sit on your hospital bed you say to yourself Boy am I in trouble! It seemed so unreal like one of those sad movies on Lifetime TV where the woman is brave and everyone cries. I wasn’t that noble I was mad! He wasn’t going to tell me I was going die!

I want to talk little about stem cell transplants the science was supposedly there that this was a good thing for people to do with not good outcomes. A lot of the doctors don’t tell you that you have a high percentage of not making it through the transplant (this is dangerous stuff). Kind of you have to risk your life so you don’t die of cancer later. Either way you could die talk about your no win situation, what a decision to make. Alot of times I held my breath like a swimmer would jumping off a diving board and take the plunge. Well after 16 days in the hospital and 3 pints of blood later I went home to recover, gain strength and get radiation (and of course go bald again after the stem cell), chemo for 7 days does make you lose your hair again. I certainly understand why men don’t like to get bald. But for men it is sexy, for us women our heads look newborns all grown up. Yes, Wigs are available but have you ever really tried on a wig? I still think wigs are for certain people not all. Trendy gals who love to change their look and don’t have to draw on eyebrows and lashes and have a pale look to there skin no matter how much makeup.

Radiation was an interesting thing to go through you kind of went so is this it? After all the treatments from chemo to surgery this treatment kind of fools you the burns came after about a month and hurt till I was done of course they give you cream but that was about the only thing they did for it. It was more time consuming more than anything was. Meetings with social workers took on an interesting twist Have you ever been told you were too strong? Till this day I never understood that ! My husband had the good sense to look at this person and ask what do you want her to do? Sit in the bed and cry all day? So please know that everyone is different none should tell you how you should feel. What could I do I had so much to deal with besides my own illness Looking back God had to be watching out for me that all I can say about it, if not I think the stress alone would have done most people in.

Other family were also fighting cancer I called them and myself the circle of three. My husband and myself have been in more hospitals in the tri-state area than most. Need to know where a lab is? Is we it a good chance we knew .At least during those years other members of my family could find the right medical offices if they needed to. I became a huge warehouse of cancer knowledge. Between me and the other two members of the circle of three we had 4 different types of cancer not including another 2 family members that would get cancer later. All together I could tell you lot about 6 different types of cancer. All this knowledge was really something I could do without

The emotions of the next couple of years seeing the end for extended family members on my husband’s side was another kind of personal hell that seemed to come my way. When you understand how they feel and you know the end is coming for them and by grace of God that could be you. How are you suppose to feel? I wished so many times for remission for them both prayed made bargains with God to no avail. I could see in their faces they hung on my every word I understood their pain their fight to stay alive. If I told them it was ok it would be ok. A lot times I would lie folks not to be cruel but to give them hope. Then other members of my extended family would get some form of cancer in coming years. I found myself not only dealing with my own cancer but some many others each with different feelings and side effects of their own.

My circle of 3 is now just me, the other two members fought so hard they would want me to go on and live a good life they know where ever they are they weren’t forgotten they have a place in my heart like so many that pass from us. They would want their story to be known they are your fathers your mother’s sisters and brothers average people who lived a quiet, life, good people, who worked hard but left the world to soon for us all.

Life does go on I look back on all the things that happened some good and not so good and wonder what has come from it all. As most spiritual people would tell you God doesn’t give us nothing we can’t handle. Well folks I have had my share and half the town’s share. Writing this almost 8 years later I can recall how I knew the very first day that I was going to fight this off. I have been somewhat successful though I did have a problem with uterine Cancer but I had a good outcome with that too. So many of us get the news you have cancer and we have the choice to fight it off the best we can.

I always thought of my Cancer as liking to the Civil War. Brother again brother so to speak your body fighting off the great evil cells that turned on the good cells. I remember once talking with an artist friend who ask me once this question“ What would I paint on a cast of my body? (She did sculpture) My answer was the battle of Gettysburg because a great emotional and physical battle was fought there. The battle was the turning of the war for the north and the end of a horrible time in history where Americans fought against each other. . I do pray for my own tide in my war, my tide is do, the little spirit in me needs to go on vacation she has been through allot. Well as I end this piece I limp into the sunset bruised, scarred but beaten never beaten just wiser bout life.

Shelley's Story

My story began October of 1999 as I was breast feeding my 9 month old son. The lump around the end of my nipple just didn't feel like the normal clogged milk duct; however I still didn't get to uptight about it. I took my son in for his 9 month check up and just asked the doctor to check it out while I was there. He felt it and felt confident that it too was a clogged milk duck and that I shouldn't worry. I will forever be grateful to him for acting on the side of caution as he said since you are here lets do a needle aspiration. I agreed and he assured me that if he could guess 999 possibilites, cancer would be the 1000 posibility. The needle aspiration drew no fluid, but again he assured me all would be fine, but again acting on the side of caution sent me down to have a biopsy. The next day I was hit with the life changing news that I had breast cancer. I felt like I had just been hit with a ton of bricks. I was the epitimy of health. I had no history of breast cancer in my family. I was 36 years old. I was a farm girl/teacher who worked hard on the farm, exercised daily, cooked all my meals from scratch, and had a strong belief in God. How could this happen to me? The rest happened all very quickly. I was sent to the best oncology doctor in the state and together we devised a plan. I agreed to do a study where I would take 4 rounds of chemo, have a total masectamy, and follow up with another 4 rounds of chemo. Following my chemo, I would have 36 radiation treatments. My oncologist told me that he would have to make me really really sick to make me really really better. I put my trust in him and my faith in God and set off on this unplanned journey. I feel I have truely been brushed with death, and have come out a winner. This journey has definately changed my life. I was determined from the get go, that I was a fighter, and I was going to win this battle. I quickly put aside the tears, "why me," and anger, and turned it around and said "why not me." I am going to win this battle and be a witness to others. I was teaching high school and coaching basketball, and chose to keep it up. I missed about 5 days of school during my enitre time of treatment. I had 3 children, a wonderful husband, and a supporting family, that never lets obsticles get in our way. I have been taught to fight them head on. There were days I felt horrible, but I would make myself get up and go to work, I didn't want to lay around and feel miserable. I learned real quickly how powerful your mind is. By going to work and coaching and being around kids, my days of yuck, were less because I choose to fight those days head on. I am not one to lie around thinking about how bad I feel. During my treatments I would sit in the waiting room; the youngest in the room, and people would marvel at my determination and my spirit. I volunteered counseling to others and found it as a great form of healing. The cancer center even had me make a DVD of my testamony that they show to all newly diagnoised patients to deliver hope to them. It is amazing the people I have met that recognize me from the DVD and say "your that girl on the cancer DVD." I surrounded myself with poitive people, positive thoughts, and never doubted that I wasn't going to win this battle. After I lost my hair, I continued to play pick-up basketball games with my players choosing to wear a stocking hat. My wig was saved for all other times; I did have to watch out for the Kansas winds as it made for a bad hair day when it would pratically blow off my head. My kids have learned what philanthropy is and means. They too have been so positive and supportive. As a family they all join me in "The Race For the Cure, The East-West Run, and The Race for Life. The have a deeper understanding of what it means to reach out to others. My daughters are members of Friendship Club; a club that has all special need students as they enjoy helping others and are not afraid to help that less fortunate child. I have learned that YOU have the choice to either fight the fight or give into the fight. You can either have your glass half full or half empty. I have always been a competitor, but I am even a strong one today. I was asked to be the captain of the Victory In The Valley East-West run and got over 200 kids from my high school to come out and support the run. It was the greatest feeling ever having all those cheering kids encouraging you as you come across the finish line. I still continue to work out and run daily and have made it my personal witness plan to always wear my pink "I am a survivor" t-shirt. Every day I have it on. It is a reminder to me as to where I have come from and how fortunate and thankful that I am every day. It also sends a message to all I meet and see that there are winners from people who have been diagnosed with cancer and you too can overcome the odds. It stops many people and brings great conversation from alot of people. I am also a walking testamony to my students as I preach to them the importance of monthly self examinations. Cancer is not the end of your lifes journey. I looked at it as a detour; an unexpected road that is less traveled. However my mission to others is for them to see the road they are traveling is paved and has been traveled unfortunatley by many, and they too have won the fight and are moving on down the road. I believe God had a plan for me to be this witness to others and this is the way he had to get through to me. I would tell others that cancer can't take away my desire to live, my faith, my spirit, my determination, my family, but it can make me a stronger person, a witness to others and a strong believer that good things happen for a reason. I am happy to report that I am 7 1/2 years cancer free and have had no reaccurance. I am on a new study and have 2 1/2 years left of taking Femara. I like knowing that I a helping fight the fight for others so that they don't have to go down the road I traveled. I still have the pair of ruby shoes that a friend sent me reminding me of the magic that not only will I live, I will thrive.